


(never been in love and) it's all good

by thewalrus_said



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Aromantic Characters, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Second Citadel (Penumbra Podcast), self-realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23479294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewalrus_said/pseuds/thewalrus_said
Summary: “Friend Talfryn?”Tal turned to see that Angelo had shuffled a little closer to him on the log they were sitting on. In front of them, the fire crackled, welcome in the cool autumn chill. “Yes, Angelo?”“May I ask you a question about what you told us earlier?”Tal’s stomach, hungry again after their small lunch of squirrel, started to churn. Earlier, he’d finally told Angelo about how he felt for men and women the same way, which was to say, not romantically. He’d thought it went pretty well; Angelo had nodded and said yes, that made sense, and as long as Tal was happy, he, Angelo, was happy as well. But now Angelo looked confused, and that could go oh so many directions. “Of course,” he said anyway.“Hmm,” Angelo said. “I hope you will not find this offensive, Talfryn, but I do not understand why such a statement as the one you made earlier required a separate conversation?”
Comments: 18
Kudos: 87





	(never been in love and) it's all good

**Author's Note:**

> This was my piece for the Seasons of the Citadel zine! I hope you like it!

“Friend Talfryn?”

Tal turned to see that Angelo had shuffled a little closer to him on the log they were sitting on. In front of them, the fire crackled, welcome in the cool autumn chill. “Yes, Angelo?”

“May I ask you a question about what you told us earlier?”

Tal’s stomach, hungry again after their small lunch of squirrel, started to churn. Earlier, he’d finally told Angelo about how he felt for men and women the same way, which was to say, not romantically. He’d thought it went pretty well; Angelo had nodded and said yes, that made sense, and as long as Tal was happy, he, Angelo, was happy as well. But now Angelo looked confused, and that could go oh so many directions. “Of course,” he said anyway.

“Hmm,” Angelo said. “I hope you will not find this offensive, Talfryn, but I do not understand why such a statement as the one you made earlier required a separate conversation?”

What?

“Well,” Tal said carefully, picking up a twig from the ground and starting to pick the bark off. “I guess I just thought, we’re friends, and I trust you, and I wanted you to know that about me.”

“Thank you, Talfryn,” Angelo said, sounding genuinely touched. “I am glad to hear you trust me. But I knew this information about you already.”

Tal blinked. “What? How?”

Angelo’s brow furrowed in confusion again. “Well, of course you feel that way. Is that not how everyone feels?”

Oh.

_Oh._

“Well,” Tal said again, still toying with the twig. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“No?”

“Maybe I didn’t explain it right.” Tal dropped the twig and forced himself to look at Angelo’s face. “I don’t have romantic feelings for anybody. I don’t want to kiss anybody, or hold anybody’s hand, and I don’t think of anybody any differently from how I think of everybody. I just feel friendship towards people I like, not anything else.”

“Right,” Angelo said. “I understood this much from what you told me earlier today. But that is how everyone feels, is it not?”

Tal sighed. “No, Angelo,” he said. “Lots of people have romantic feelings. They like certain people in different ways than they like other people. Is that not - do you not feel that way?”

“No,” Angelo said. “Why would I want to like certain people differently than others? My friends are my friends, and I love them all the same.”

 _Okay then._ Tal rubbed a hand across his face. “I think - I think you might be like me, in that case.”

“Why do you sound sad about that?” Angelo asked. “I should like to be like you very much, friend Talfryn! You are a wonderful person.”

“Thank you,” Tal said, “and I wasn’t sad about it, just surprised. I’ve never met anyone like me in this way before.”

“Hmm.” Angelo frowned, clearly thinking hard. “I do not fully understand what makes a feeling romantic, I must confess.”

“Neither do I, really,” Tal said. “I just know that sometimes they are. Tell you what,” he went on. “I know Marc gets crushes on girls sometimes. We’ll ask him when he gets back, and see if he can clear it up for you, okay?”

“Alright.” Angelo shifted on the log, and his whole face lit up. “Oh!” he said, standing suddenly and scrabbling in his pocket. “I forgot, I meant to show you this earlier. Look!” He sat again and held out his hand towards Tal. In it was a shiny red rock with some bright green moss growing on one side.

“Whoa,” Tal said. “That’s Southern rag moss! What’s that doing this far north?”

“What’s more,” Angelo said, “this is a rock formed from the givings of a volcano, which indicates it is from the western half of the world. So it must have traveled south to pick up the moss, and then come here.”

They spent a companionable hour going over the rock from head to foot, to the point where they both jumped about a foot when Dampierre whinnied behind Tal’s head. “You guys are terrible sentries,” Marc said. “I could have been a robber!”

“We have nothing to rob,” Tal said. “So it would’ve been fine if you were.”

“No it wouldn’t,” Marc countered, “because a robber wouldn’t have brought this!” He brandished a rabbit in one hand, fat and fluffy. “You would have starved to death!”

“Thank you, Marc,” Tal droned, making Angelo chuckle heartily. Marc preened and slid down from Dampierre. Tal hauled him onto the log and set to work dealing with the rabbit.

“Marc,” Tal said, once the rabbit was skinned and set to roasting over the fire. “We had a question for you.”

“No, I don’t know what sort of bird makes a call like CACKALACKALACKALACKA -”

“Not that again,” Tal interrupted. “It’s about crushes.”

“Oh ho ho!” Marc crowed and nudged Angelo with his elbow. “Something you want to tell us, big boy?”

“Tal thinks that I am like him, when it comes to romantic feelings,” Angelo said. Marc visibly deflated; Tal discreetly thumped him. “So we were hoping you could tell us what romantic feelings are like, so I can know if I have them or not.”

“Right.” Marc rubbed the back of his neck and stared into the fire. “Crushes. Um. I guess they make you feel sort of, all tingly? And you smile a lot around the person, and you trust them with anything, and you want to spend time with them more than you want to do anything else. And you wanna kiss them and stuff,” he added, face going bright red in the firelight.

“Hmm,” Angelo said. “Well, my friends make me smile, and I trust them, but I do not know about _tingles._ I do not think I have ever tingled.”

“It’s a sort of... emotional tingle,” Marc said. “Like, they make you say everything with exclamation points.”

“Angelo says everything with exclamation points anyway,” Tal said.

“I have a naturally loud register!” Angelo objected. “Anyway, I do not think I _wish_ to have a crush.”

“No?” Marc asked. “They can be kinda fun.”

“Why would I wish to like people in different ways?” Angelo said. “I love all my friends equally. Investing all my hopes in just one person seems foolish.”

“Well,” Tal put in. “There are some people who get crushes on more than one person. Look at Rilla and Damien and Arum.”

Angelo considered this. “That would be better, it is true, but there is still the matter of _tingling._ ” He shuddered. “I do not think I wish to tingle.” He looked up at Tal. “I think I am like you, friend Talfryn.”

“Woo!” Marc yelled. “Two comings-out in one day! Coming-outs? What’s the plural?”

“I don’t know,” Tal said. “It’s never happened to me before.”

“I hope I did not co-opt your day,” Angelo said, suddenly looking stricken. “That was not my intent.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tal said, reaching out to pat his arm. “This is a good thing. You understand yourself a little better now, right?”

“Right! And I understand you better too, and friend Marc.” Angelo clapped a hand on Marc’s shoulder. Marc buckled and winced. “I must write to Sir Damien and tell him of this new development! Oh, and Sir Caroline too, she will want to know!”

Tal met Marc’s eyes and decided not to comment on that.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://thewalrus-said.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](http://twitter.com/thewalrus_said)!


End file.
